I wrote this piece in 2003. Thought I would give it another airing, see what you think. I got tired of the issue being treated as a cheap laugh, or as though it was the same as men paying for sex with women. It isn’t. But, nevertheless, it is deeply exploitative, harmful, and troubling.
Shocking and uncomfortable to read. At the begging of the article I felt you were being too judgey of the women. I feel sorry for them. They were all saying they weren’t worth much, weren’t beautiful, were fat and old.
I don’t think white old fat men feel like that.
It’s complicated.
It also makes me not want to visit Jamaica because I wouldn’t want to be hassled. It’s sounds awful.
What should the women do instead do you think? Set up projects for young unemployed Jamaican men?
And why is cunnilingus taboo for Jamaican men? That’s another example of abusive attitudes towards women.
Thanks for sharing again Julie. This is interesting and deeply uncomfortable to read. The different angles of the power balance really make it a complex issue to form a view on - ultimately none of these are healthy relationships but as the domestic violence example demonstrates the abuser dynamic is less straightforward than in female prostitution.
I am genuinely fascinated by people’s ability to delude themselves someone is a willing participant. And some of the dehumanising language quoted in the article is really shocking.
Wow. What a unpleasant trip down a rarely examined (at least by me) rabbit hole. This is an incredible piece of writing that does the rare work of exposing human behavior without judging it. I don't know what to think now that I'm done reading it. Thank you.
There is no great difference between female and male sex tourism. The fact of the matter is that they want exactly the same, sexual and romantic relationships with people who would never give them a time of day at home.
It's interesting to see the women use the narrative that they are "helping out"., like they are doing the men a favour and not exploiting their cicumstances.
It’s depressing to me that so many women have given up on the emotional intimacy that a sexual relationship with a psychologically invested person offers. I just can’t get off on the idea of physical sex for sex sake, and can’t imagine spending one second nor one cent of my holiday banging a young man for kicks. Seems to represent yet another journey along the road to perdition. I’d much rather support the people by buying a piece of art work or craft that has been fashioned locally, and not interfere with the sex lives of the locals and their families, so I wouldn’t be joining those ladies’ holiday dreams.
EXCELLENT READ! Thank you so much for gifting this to the masses. I enjoyed every bit, even subscribed. Is there any additional literature detailing how this is different than Western men going over seas paying for sex? Are we speaking in terms of violence/r8pe? In that case, I completely understand. It seems, however that the foundation of selling and purchasing this kind of s3x is the same - it’s rooted in desperation and control. Much much much love.
The women described above remind me of women on the reality show ‘90 Day Fiancé’. There’s nothing at all wrong with their appearance or age but these women describe their looks as barriers to meeting men in the US. Just like the men who do sex tourism, the women also want very young, fit “foreign” lovers instead of genuinely interested partners who want to have sex with them (for free).. As Julie says, it’s not the same as men but it’s not harmless either.
Shocking and uncomfortable to read. At the begging of the article I felt you were being too judgey of the women. I feel sorry for them. They were all saying they weren’t worth much, weren’t beautiful, were fat and old.
I don’t think white old fat men feel like that.
It’s complicated.
It also makes me not want to visit Jamaica because I wouldn’t want to be hassled. It’s sounds awful.
What should the women do instead do you think? Set up projects for young unemployed Jamaican men?
And why is cunnilingus taboo for Jamaican men? That’s another example of abusive attitudes towards women.
Very interesting report though julie.
Thanks for sharing again Julie. This is interesting and deeply uncomfortable to read. The different angles of the power balance really make it a complex issue to form a view on - ultimately none of these are healthy relationships but as the domestic violence example demonstrates the abuser dynamic is less straightforward than in female prostitution.
I am genuinely fascinated by people’s ability to delude themselves someone is a willing participant. And some of the dehumanising language quoted in the article is really shocking.
Wow. What a unpleasant trip down a rarely examined (at least by me) rabbit hole. This is an incredible piece of writing that does the rare work of exposing human behavior without judging it. I don't know what to think now that I'm done reading it. Thank you.
There is no great difference between female and male sex tourism. The fact of the matter is that they want exactly the same, sexual and romantic relationships with people who would never give them a time of day at home.
It's interesting to see the women use the narrative that they are "helping out"., like they are doing the men a favour and not exploiting their cicumstances.
It’s depressing to me that so many women have given up on the emotional intimacy that a sexual relationship with a psychologically invested person offers. I just can’t get off on the idea of physical sex for sex sake, and can’t imagine spending one second nor one cent of my holiday banging a young man for kicks. Seems to represent yet another journey along the road to perdition. I’d much rather support the people by buying a piece of art work or craft that has been fashioned locally, and not interfere with the sex lives of the locals and their families, so I wouldn’t be joining those ladies’ holiday dreams.
EXCELLENT READ! Thank you so much for gifting this to the masses. I enjoyed every bit, even subscribed. Is there any additional literature detailing how this is different than Western men going over seas paying for sex? Are we speaking in terms of violence/r8pe? In that case, I completely understand. It seems, however that the foundation of selling and purchasing this kind of s3x is the same - it’s rooted in desperation and control. Much much much love.
The women described above remind me of women on the reality show ‘90 Day Fiancé’. There’s nothing at all wrong with their appearance or age but these women describe their looks as barriers to meeting men in the US. Just like the men who do sex tourism, the women also want very young, fit “foreign” lovers instead of genuinely interested partners who want to have sex with them (for free).. As Julie says, it’s not the same as men but it’s not harmless either.
Thanks for posting this. I searched for it a while back and drew a blank.