Thank you to Robert Jenson for sharing such a deeply personal story. I am awestruck by his ability to be such a good person despite having had such a traumatic childhood. I truly believe that such traumas can be overcome - our being is always striving for wholeness. The amnesia that he experiences has been his best way of surviving up to now, but I hope that he can find the right therapy (and there are many ways of addressing trauma, see Thomas Hubl's work, for example).
Robert Jensen is a man of integrity, compassion and intellect and I admire him greatly. He manages to take his childhood wound and turn it into activism regarding pornography, feminism and peace mongering. He seems to be in his early sixties and at this point in his life, does he really want to excavate his past? Yes, dissociation is a sign of severe abuse and he has already taken the first steps by facing the amnesia and locating the abuse in his family and above all in his father. He has a life he can be proud of living and a body of work deserving respect and praise.
I too had a black hole but deprogrammed over decades. It was brutal but I had an extensive support system and youthful good health. What's worse than the black hole is extensive system of memories, which most people don't want to believe because it implicates an extensive network of organized crime.
thank you so much for articulating this complicated condition of not remembering. The sentiment about wishing there were photos...that really hit me. I get it!! I am a black sheep in a black hole, and I am alive but one day I wish to thrive, and somehow I think remembering is very necessary for me.
After many years of therapy I came to realize that no matter how hard I tried to heal that broken place it will always be with me. There has been a certain amount of freedom in that acceptance for me. I have learned to manage it better but….it is part of who I am.
Thank you to Robert Jenson, a beautiful heartfelt piece that touched my own experiences. I bought a copy of the 'Living, Loving, and Learning' book - and am looking forward to it.
Thanks for sharing so honestly again Bob and thanks for continuing to share Bob's writing Julie! It's great to see him reach more and more people through his guest posts.
Thanks Julie and Robert for sharing this beautiful and heart-rending essay. It moved me profoundly and I completely understand and relate to it, though part of me wishes I couldn’t. Robert, I'm so sorry about what was done to you.
I haven't thought about it for ages, but something happened when I was in early primary school and over 40 years later I still can't remember what. But I know it did. It left me with a visceral disgust towards my own body, panic and revulsion when any other kids talked about sex or boyfriends and girlfriends, and what my dad described as "a horror" of boys growing up and a fear of most males outside those in my family. I will never know who I would have been or what my life would’ve been like had whatever it was not happened. Maybe I'd have experienced reciprocal romantic love, had kids, strode through life with confidence? Maybe not. But maybe I wouldn’t have been propelled towards a legal career working with survivors either, and I wouldn't change that. I don't think I want to remember at this stage of my life - I've made the best of it as much as I can and most of the time I'm all right.
Thank you to Robert Jenson for sharing such a deeply personal story. I am awestruck by his ability to be such a good person despite having had such a traumatic childhood. I truly believe that such traumas can be overcome - our being is always striving for wholeness. The amnesia that he experiences has been his best way of surviving up to now, but I hope that he can find the right therapy (and there are many ways of addressing trauma, see Thomas Hubl's work, for example).
Robert Jensen is a man of integrity, compassion and intellect and I admire him greatly. He manages to take his childhood wound and turn it into activism regarding pornography, feminism and peace mongering. He seems to be in his early sixties and at this point in his life, does he really want to excavate his past? Yes, dissociation is a sign of severe abuse and he has already taken the first steps by facing the amnesia and locating the abuse in his family and above all in his father. He has a life he can be proud of living and a body of work deserving respect and praise.
I too had a black hole but deprogrammed over decades. It was brutal but I had an extensive support system and youthful good health. What's worse than the black hole is extensive system of memories, which most people don't want to believe because it implicates an extensive network of organized crime.
thank you so much for articulating this complicated condition of not remembering. The sentiment about wishing there were photos...that really hit me. I get it!! I am a black sheep in a black hole, and I am alive but one day I wish to thrive, and somehow I think remembering is very necessary for me.
After many years of therapy I came to realize that no matter how hard I tried to heal that broken place it will always be with me. There has been a certain amount of freedom in that acceptance for me. I have learned to manage it better but….it is part of who I am.
Thank you to Robert Jenson, a beautiful heartfelt piece that touched my own experiences. I bought a copy of the 'Living, Loving, and Learning' book - and am looking forward to it.
Thanks for sharing so honestly again Bob and thanks for continuing to share Bob's writing Julie! It's great to see him reach more and more people through his guest posts.
To me his writing is criminally under-read!
Thanks Julie and Robert for sharing this beautiful and heart-rending essay. It moved me profoundly and I completely understand and relate to it, though part of me wishes I couldn’t. Robert, I'm so sorry about what was done to you.
I haven't thought about it for ages, but something happened when I was in early primary school and over 40 years later I still can't remember what. But I know it did. It left me with a visceral disgust towards my own body, panic and revulsion when any other kids talked about sex or boyfriends and girlfriends, and what my dad described as "a horror" of boys growing up and a fear of most males outside those in my family. I will never know who I would have been or what my life would’ve been like had whatever it was not happened. Maybe I'd have experienced reciprocal romantic love, had kids, strode through life with confidence? Maybe not. But maybe I wouldn’t have been propelled towards a legal career working with survivors either, and I wouldn't change that. I don't think I want to remember at this stage of my life - I've made the best of it as much as I can and most of the time I'm all right.
Julie you are a person. Don’t doubt it. Despite the bitter past you have your present. Your present. 🎁 and it can be the fire that anneals truth.