'I know we've had our spats'

My interview, 15 years ago, with the unique Julie Burchill, in which we talk about her brief trip to lezzer-land, why we fell out about Princess Dianna, and how she wishes she'd slept around more

Julie Bindel: When can we do this email interview?

Julie Burchill: Whenever you like. Would be happy to do it asap, am about till 6 o'clock, and am in the mood.

PS I am going to a local synagogue to meet with a brilliant lesbian rabbi next Thursday!!

Bindel: Who is the lezzer rabbi?

Burchill: Don't have me saying lezzer! Can you imagine the pervs' reaction?

Bindel: What word would you prefer?

Burchill: There isn't a word for homosexual I do like! Having said that, I would never describe myself as "heterosexual", "straight" or anything else. Especially not "bisexual" (it sounds like a sort of communal vehicle missing a mudguard). I like "spontaneous" as a sexual description.

Bindel: You describe yourself as a "militant feminist". What does that mean to you?

Burchill: "A girl who likes to have fun" ... and a lot of other stuff obviously. Someone who realises that women's human rights are more important than cultural "sensitivity". Like it's sensitive to cut someone's clitoris off! Someone who doesn't give a toss about the approval of others - men and women.

A woman that cheeks and insults men, righteously and politically, but also for kicks and fun. I like men and get on much better with them one to one than I do women, who can be a bit emotional. But part of what makes a man a man is that he never takes offence! When you see sad-sacks like, what was his name, Neil something [Lyndon, author of No More Sex War: the Failures of Feminism]. "Men's Lib" - that's the opposite of a man, to me. Just shut up and take your lumps. And then we can all have a laugh.

Obviously, having had the father I had I have very high expectations of men. On the whole, in the west, where feminism has made its mark, I think they've done great. It's so lovely that even in prison, men who aren't touchy-feely have to be stopped from beating up rapists - not just child molesters, but rapists of grown women. It's a shame that educated middle-class leftwing men can't take feminism on board so effectively.

Bindel: I much prefer women to men. A lot of them are emotional cripples. Have you not found that? Are we such different feminists do you think?

Burchill: I don't want to hear about every last thing someone is feeling. I think most men have it about right. All men should be like my dad!

Bindel: I still have a laugh now about us falling out over Princess Diana. [I wrote in this newspaper that I fancied Camilla Parker Bowles, but never found Diana attractive.]

The article we fell out about, published February 2005

Burchill: Oh my gosh, did we? I thought it was about Israel. Wasn't there a time when you joined the Islam-licking lobby and thought that I was some sort of Zionist zealot? My mistake ...

Bindel: Then we made it up temporarily and fell out again when I wrote in G2 that I thought that there were too many dildos in your TV drama Sugar Rush 2.

Burchill: I've said some dumbass things in my life, but that was one of the dumbest. Totally agree with you and am totally baffled by "sex toys". There was a telling incident when I left a message for my husband and his flatmate picked it up: "When you come over tonight, can you please bring the toys?" I was talking about Zippy and George from Rainbow

Bindel: What on earth are you talking about?

Burchill: Dan [her husband] and I aren't lovey-dovey, but we have Zippy and George dolls that Dan won in a Torquay amusement arcade years ago during an amazing holiday we had there. Zippy says "You know, I'm really very clever" and George says "Oh dear - you are naughty!" For obvious reasons they're very dear to us. When we row, we leave icy messages requesting their return, whoever has them.

Bindel: I really laughed at this, but does it mean you are not the sex-crazed vixen many men have you down as? Has marriage finally tamed you?

Burchill: I have always been married since I was 18 - went from Tony [Parsons] to Cosmo [Landesman] to Charlotte [Raven] to Dan [Raven, Charlotte's brother] without a break - so it's the only life I know. I've never been single. But as I have such a rich inner life and am essentially a solitary person, I don't feel the need to be. I look at single people and they don't seem particularly happy as a species. My advice is marry often and live apart. Best of both worlds.

Bindel: I have just read your new book, Not in My Name: a Compendium of Modern Hypocrisy. I loved it. Do you think you have ever been a hypocrite?

Burchill: If I have, I can't recall it. But then, I can't recall a lot ...

Bindel: Are you a serial monogamist with your friendships? You love them and then go off them?

Burchill: I am certainly very honest about my friendships and if I can tell that they have ceased to give pleasure to the people involved I will certainly end them. I would rather be a great full-on friend for a short time than a drudging, grudging friend for ever - and I've seen a lot of mercy friendships. I have a friend who would occasionally cry before she went to see a friend she was bored of, and then cry again when she got back, out of boredom remembered.

I persuaded her that this wasn't sensible, and I think she's happier since. I don't fall out with people easily but several female friends I have had to cut loose because they would press their unwanted sexual attentions on me when they were drunk, and, as I've said, I fancy women very rarely and when I do, they're in their 20s. It's so sucky being a feminist Hugh Hefner.

You tell a broad in her 40s that she's too old for you to fancy, it puts her in a mean mood and really sours a friendship!

And a lot of bi-tries, as they hideously call themselves, are very loath to take no for an answer. They really think that if I slept with one woman, I must want to sleep with them all. I'm sorry, but - ick! Double ick

Bindel: But why did we fall out then? I didn't make a pass at you (did I?)

Burchill: Ha ha! I wish!! Na, it was just me being a bitch as per - I thought you were too soft on Islamists, you thought I was Ortho-groupie [supporter of Jewish Orthodox religion] and then there was the Camilla/Diana/Sugar Rush business - just regular girl trouble.

Bindel: Would you ever consider having sex with a woman again?

Burchill: I only like young women, and I really don't want to be an old perv. So best leave it.

Bindel: What do you mean, young women?

Burchill: I only find young women attractive. Not kids, obviously, but girls in their 20s. And only once about every five years. So I'm hardly a seething volcano of Sapphic lust.

Bindel: I know you get really pissed off with what seems to be a liberal consensus which results in a love-relationship between the British left and fascist Muslim fundamentalists. Is the Guardian also guilty of this?

Burchill: Very much so. It's really weird how many allegedly leftwing men are prepared to forgive and even justify the most reactionary statements and behaviour so long as those peddling it are darker-skinned. Amazingly babyish and simple-minded.

Bindel: You are very outspoken about the burkha being a tool of women's oppression.

Burchill: Apart from the obvious repressive and misogynist offensiveness of the burkha - and it insults men as well as women, implying as it does that they are slavering beasts who will turn into rapists with one glimpse of an ankle - it strikes me as extremely disrespectful to the Creator. We are saying that the body He created is sinful and must be hidden away like a nasty little secret. God created women to look like women; he didn't create them to look like parrot cages with a nightshade chucked over it.

Bindel: I know you don't live with your husband. How does that work?

Burchill: I like it very much. I'm an only child and I like my freedom and privacy. I'm not saying for sure that this will be my final marriage, because people change, but I'm still enjoying it after 14 years and that's a record for me.

Bindel: What is your relationship like these days with Cosmo Landesman?

Burchill: I don't have relationships with my exes - once you've sucked all the juice out of an orange, why would you keep it around! But his book - Starstruck - was great fun, especially the stuff about me.

Bindel: You told me once that you were giving up hackery to study religion. But you didn't give it up. Did you lie or change your mind, and did you go to Jesus school anyway?

Burchill: I thought about whether sitting in a classroom (I was planning to do religion at Sussex, not go to "Jesus School' whatever that is), debating how many angels can fit on a pin was a good way to understand Christianity, and I decided that I could learn more by doing voluntary work. Which I did for three years, until my Charcot diagnosis and subsequent boot-incarceration put paid to this last autumn.

I loved it though and am very much looking forward to going back when my boot comes off soon!

[Burchill has advanced Charcot Syndrome - a neurological disease that progresses from the nervous system to the body's muscles. Sufferers gradually lose the use of the affected limb.]

Bindel: How is your foot?

Burchill: Healing very well. Aircast comes off in May, the Lord willing.

Bindel: Is your Christian faith still important?

Burchill: I would rather be a Jew. I find it hard to think of myself as an Anglican while the head of the church is a cowardly suck-up like Rowan Williams. I'm hoping that Dr John Sentamu, the Archbishop of York, will get the gig next. He's my absolute hero.

Bindel: Why would you want to be a Jew?

Burchill: I love everything about the Jews. But I probably won't become one, as I like the view from the outside. I will probably just remain a Christian Zionist; it's a long and honourable tradition.

Bindel: What do you have lined up?

Burchill: I would love to write a book of short stories. And a great television drama series. My ultimate professional ambition is to write a song for Girls Aloud.

Bindel: Do you have any regrets?

Burchill: I wish I'd started voluntary work earlier and slept around more. I've been very selfish all my life. If I have any regrets it's to wish that I'd given more of myself to others less fortunate than me. In all arenas! Mind you, there's still time ...

Bindel: Thanks Julie, it's really nice that we are friends again.

Burchill: It's a pleasure. I know we've had our spats but you're a proper heroine whereas I am a performing pony. A really good one though!

I don't mind that you've slagged me off either - in fact (blush) I get a very mild sex kick from it. So there.

*This article first appeared in the Guardian on May 13th 2009. We have since fallen out again numerous times, and are currently not speaking