Million Women Rise, London, 2024
Q: Why don’t women simply leave violent or controlling men?
A: Because this is the most dangerous time for any woman in a domestic abuse situation. More than half of the women who are killed in the UK die while they leave or attempt to leave the perpetrator.
Q: If women don’t fight back, how can you call a sexual encounter rape?
A: Some women do actively resist unwanted sexual encounters, but many fear for their lives and therefore adopt a survival strategy by choosing to not put up a physical resistance. This is still rape.
Q: Many women make false allegations of rape. The conviction rate for rape may be low, but isn’t it better to have a system which avoids innocent men going to prison and having their lives ruined?
A: Credible research on the number of false allegations of rape finds that only 2-4% of such reports to police are either false or misidentified. This is lower than false allegations of a number of other crimes, including burglary. The problem we have is not that innocent men are going to prison but that those guilty of rape are not being prosecuted.
Q: Women who make false allegations of rape are doing other women a disservice because they will be less likely to be believed. We should therefore prosecute them and make an example of them.
A: The vast majority of rapes are not reported. The result of the Cyprus gang rape case (2019) will deter women who have been raped from reporting it to the police. Of all reports made by women to police, only 1.4% of them end up being charged by the Crown Prosecution Service. Only 0.7% of rapes that are reported result in a conviction. It is the system that is to blame, not the women who have been raped, disbelieved and threatened with prosecution themselves.
Q: If you are anti-porn you must be anti-sex.
A: Feminists are not anti-sex, prudes or pearl-clutchers. As far back as the 1960s, feminists were the ones who demanded the right to an autonomous sexuality for women and the right to enjoy sex on our own terms. Porn does not represent the kind of sex which gives women a sense of self-worth, or a sense of being an equal participant in a sexual relationship. To accuse anti-porn feminists of being anti-sex is like saying those of us that hate McDonalds are anti-food.
Protest against McDonalds
Q: If women consent to rough sex, who are you to say it’s not OK? Millions of women read 50 Shades of Grey, so BDSM is not just a male fetish.
A: Girls are raised with the message that sex, power and pain are indivisible. Male sexuality under patriarchy is primed towards dominance and submission. The 50 Shades narrative is all about women submitting to sadistic men and being turned on by their own submission. It is impossible to see the construction of female desire outside of the constraints under which women live. The ‘rough sex defence’ was successfully used in 67 murder or manslaughter cases over the past decade: cases where women have died following BDSM sex with a man.
Q: Feminism has gone too far. You have achieved legal reform, equal pay etc. Women are the leaders of many countries around the world, financial institutions etc. Men are now feeling emasculated and redundant.
A: Male violence towards women and girls is endemic worldwide. It is one of the most underreported and under-convicted crimes in all its forms: FGM, forced marriage, sexual harassment, female infanticide, dowry deaths, trafficking of women into prostitution. Every single system – social, legal and cultural – favours men over women. In 2020, there were still at least 10 countries where rape in marriage is legal. Men prefer patriarchal societies, and the prevalence of femicide means we are missing 126 million women. Whilst this state of affairs remains, feminism needs to go way further than it has.
Thank you, Julie. You are brave and an inspiration. It is both frustrating and depressing that nearly 50 years after the Sex Discrimination Act 1975, you’re still having to write pieces like this. I would also add that our autonomous nervous system in life-threatening circumstances, causes us to “flight, fight, freeze or fawn” and these responses are beyond our conscious control. As regards the “50 Shades of Grey” issue, a woman’s sexual fantasies bear no relationship to how she chooses to conduct herself in a sexual encounter in the real world. Most straight women have tolerated unwelcome sexual activity for a myriad of cultural, “fawning” or safety reasons.
Thanks for the reminder Julie. The idea that feminism has “won” is ludicrous.